Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize