I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
