either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us