You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
