the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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