2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
