So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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