And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
