have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
