I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
