he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
