girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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