she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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