You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
