all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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