Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Well I just put wine in my tea
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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