shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
