I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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