My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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