My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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