Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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