I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
