JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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