an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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