But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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