do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
