Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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