I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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