party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
