I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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