We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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