btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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