Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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