i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
