I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
