Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
love makes seman taste better
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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