i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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