wat bout pragnant strippers??
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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