yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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