so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
