you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
