Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...

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  (313): Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends... http://tfl.nu/38n2
  Replies (15) Good night (1626) Bad night (764)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.

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  (314): I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old. http://tfl.nu/qc6x
  Replies (19) Good night (743) Bad night (5622)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.

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  (717): so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine. http://tfl.nu/pias
  Replies (11) Good night (4763) Bad night (834)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame

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  (708): either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame http://tfl.nu/9sw5
  Replies (9) Good night (5078) Bad night (960)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.

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  (201): I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork. http://tfl.nu/8epk
  Replies (16) Good night (1193) Bad night (5255)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.

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  (617): And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today. http://tfl.nu/vsrl
  Replies (7) Good night (4087) Bad night (830)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.

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  (401): Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight. http://tfl.nu/rdc4
  Replies (6) Good night (4870) Bad night (867)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener

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  (647): she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener http://tfl.nu/wmbx
  Replies (22) Good night (4100) Bad night (1976)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me

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  (732): I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me http://tfl.nu/pe15
  Replies (7) Good night (917) Bad night (1993)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn

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  (989): Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn http://tfl.nu/8cqk
  Replies (6) Good night (615) Bad night (1116)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.

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  (281): If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/0of8
  Replies (14) Good night (3175) Bad night (556)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.

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  (443): You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are. http://tfl.nu/njd0
  Replies (5) Good night (1437) Bad night (528)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.

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  (902): I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability. http://tfl.nu/xk8u
  Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (360)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.

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  (803): I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had. (304): Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little. http://tfl.nu/dkf0
  Replies (6) Good night (1226) Bad night (458)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.

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  (610): Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college. http://tfl.nu/99u6
  Replies (2) Good night (1322) Bad night (328)

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