Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees. http://tfl.nu/j4sn
  Replies (11) Good night (2547) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon? http://tfl.nu/8edy
  Replies (45) Good night (5564) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i should start naming my morning wood

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  great idea but wrong number

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): i should start naming my morning wood (201): great idea but wrong number http://tfl.nu/1p5a
  Replies (24) Good night (8244) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet? http://tfl.nu/shbs
  Replies (31) Good night (5217) Bad night (1858)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it http://tfl.nu/c3d8
  Replies (45) Good night (3669) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night. http://tfl.nu/vsnq
  Replies (17) Good night (832) Bad night (3415)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car? http://tfl.nu/714f
  Replies (7) Good night (904) Bad night (2466)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again. http://tfl.nu/wsfw
  Replies (13) Good night (1835) Bad night (1599)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good? http://tfl.nu/2d9n
  Replies (6) Good night (2254) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  I smell like gasoline and adventure.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (779): I smell like gasoline and adventure. http://tfl.nu/rkdf
  Replies (18) Good night (2484) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat... http://tfl.nu/b2lc
  Replies (2) Good night (426) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year http://tfl.nu/dko3
  Replies (3) Good night (976) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break http://tfl.nu/8ihp
  Replies (4) Good night (639) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father. http://tfl.nu/ymcy
  Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake http://tfl.nu/9w4m
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (213)

Randomize