You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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