Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one

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(215): i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god (215): ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one http://tfl.nu/ngdq

Replies (10) Good night (3088) Bad night (504)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me

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(978): literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me http://tfl.nu/9ayb

Replies (41) Good night (5768) Bad night (1304)
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(815): View more from Illinois

The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd

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(815): The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd http://tfl.nu/v8gr

Replies (7) Good night (2904) Bad night (991)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.

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(484): I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me. http://tfl.nu/20bq

Replies (7) Good night (2525) Bad night (1224)
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(248): View more from Michigan

whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes

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(248): whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes http://tfl.nu/s924

Replies (10) Good night (3456) Bad night (1296)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.

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(602): I am NOT getting arrested in a wig. http://tfl.nu/5nul

Replies (15) Good night (2570) Bad night (983)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.

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(336): i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow. http://tfl.nu/uyrp

Replies (17) Good night (2564) Bad night (755)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.

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(304): Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad. http://tfl.nu/m6pm

Replies (5) Good night (1593) Bad night (480)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok

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(412): I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok http://tfl.nu/vgre

Replies (7) Good night (2087) Bad night (493)
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(515): View more from Iowa

We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.

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(515): We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all. http://tfl.nu/if2m

Replies (9) Good night (2231) Bad night (469)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.

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(+44): The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter. http://tfl.nu/dz88

Replies (3) Good night (968) Bad night (293)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.

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(309): Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time. http://tfl.nu/yqup

Replies (1) Good night (318) Bad night (468)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN

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(574): I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN http://tfl.nu/b0a5

Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (270)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert

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(203): I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert http://tfl.nu/7kxa

Replies (2) Good night (384) Bad night (328)
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(339): View more from Massachusetts

Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.

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(339): Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club (570): All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied. http://tfl.nu/56my

Replies (2) Good night (784) Bad night (265)

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