So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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