Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money

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(253): i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money http://tfl.nu/2wwu

Replies (3) Good night (958) Bad night (594)
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(847): View more from Illinois

he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.

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(847): he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants. (1-847): you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him. http://tfl.nu/yg4d

Replies (25) Good night (567) Bad night (2865)
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(406): View more from Montana

Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.

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(406): Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns. http://tfl.nu/ywpq

Replies (42) Good night (6431) Bad night (989)
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(804): View more from Virginia

my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2

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(804): my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2 http://tfl.nu/hna9

Replies (9) Good night (1495) Bad night (2991)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

they're like a gay fantastic four

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(204): they're like a gay fantastic four http://tfl.nu/6w8u

Replies (15) Good night (2402) Bad night (1020)
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(512): View more from Texas

Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?

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(512): Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits? http://tfl.nu/6yhs

Replies (84) Good night (1483) Bad night (10970)
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(503): View more from Oregon

So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.

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(503): So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep. http://tfl.nu/t5yr

Replies (5) Good night (1992) Bad night (691)
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(707): View more from California

I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots

(1-707): View more from California

You did like 8

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(707): I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots (1-707): You did like 8 http://tfl.nu/2yf9

Replies (6) Good night (2761) Bad night (612)
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(858): View more from California

I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake

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(858): I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake http://tfl.nu/hoqc

Replies (9) Good night (1063) Bad night (713)
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(785): View more from Kansas

You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever

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(785): You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever http://tfl.nu/34h5

Replies (2) Good night (1292) Bad night (483)
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(434): View more from Virginia

In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.

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(434): In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult. http://tfl.nu/0of3

Replies (4) Good night (416) Bad night (1076)
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(503): View more from Oregon

i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running

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(503): i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running http://tfl.nu/ar86

Replies (4) Good night (546) Bad night (241)
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(360): View more from Washington

The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.

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(360): The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head. http://tfl.nu/prnc

Replies (2) Good night (424) Bad night (236)
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(530): View more from California

Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.

(818): View more from California

As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.

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(530): Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics. (818): As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet. http://tfl.nu/4f1d

Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (211)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after

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(602): I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after http://tfl.nu/x9h9

Replies (0) Good night (440) Bad night (287)

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