So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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