New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I don't deserve a penis
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
