My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
