i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
