It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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