dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
