Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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