sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I puked a lego.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
this boner is exhausting
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
