remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
