Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize