wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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