Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize