tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
