cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
