Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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