i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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