Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
