If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
