Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
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I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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