Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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