DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
