life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
