sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
